Don't Expect What You Won't Inspect

Our family homeschools year around, but sometimes I feel the need to have a tune up in our daily school and chore routines.  In recent days I really felt the need to put some focused attention on our chores in particular.  I wish that house and farm chores were something that we could figure out, get on top of, and have the matter resolved once and for all but that is not how it works.  Life circumstances, family dynamics, the ages of the children, trips out of town, health issues, and much more play into what chores systems are working at any given time.  I have learned that our housework routines are something that are always evolving and changing and something that I have to continue to revisit from time to time.  

  Partially due to the fact that we have been in and out of town a lot, I have recently been feeling like I needed to see some improvement in our current chore system.  I just felt that certain jobs were not being done to my satisfaction and many things have fallen through the cracks.
  Last Sunday night I took some colored markers to our large dry erase board and sketched out a schedule that we have been following this past week.  It has been a tremendous help just to remind my children of what I expect from each of them.  I have been pleased to see them checking the board, and I have seen some encouraging steps in the right direction this past week.  

  I do think it is important for us to teach our children to be diligent in working.  Here are a couple of verses in Scripture that remind us that work is the will of God for us:

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." - Colossians 3:23

"For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat." - II Thessalonians 3:10 

"And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you." - I Thessalonians 4:11 

  What I have discovered to be true with my children is that they have to be trained to work.  Children are not usually born with the character quality of diligence.  They also do not naturally know how to do a job correctly.  If we want our children to work, we need to teach them how to do a job and then hold them accountable.  

  I do not feel that I am naturally a great organizer and overseer of our household routines, but with time I am learning some things.  One issue for me is that I was one of only two children, and so large family dynamics have been a new thing for me.  It has been challenging to try to learn how to stay on top of all the laundry and housework and keep chore routines up and running.  I have so much to learn still, but here are a few things I am seeing more clearly: 

I have to communicate clearly what I expect of my children:

  If I just hope that the chores will get done, they may or may not; this is not an effective way of overseeing my household.  It works better for me if I have things written out so that the children and I can all SEE what the plan is.  With seven children I cannot keep things straight in my head as to who I have told to do what.  There are different ways of creating charts; Pinterest is full of ideas for displaying chore lists.  This past week I didn't have much time for creativity and just wrote everything out on a big white board that hangs in our kitchen table area.  One advantage to the white board approach is that you can erase and change things quickly.  I have also used a spreadsheet format in the past.  Whatever way you choose to display chore responsibilities it needs to be visible and easily accessible to all family members.  

I have to take the time to show my children HOW to do their chores properly:

  As I write this I know this to be true in my head, but honestly I am not good at this step.  It takes time to go and TRAIN a child in how to do a chore the right way.  I am working on this because I see how many times I have failed by not taking this important step with my children.  If I just tell them to go clean the bathroom without showing them what I mean by clean the bathroom then I cannot expect them to do it like I want it done.  

  When we look at how our children learn other skills it takes this important step of showing them and practicing with them.  When we teach them to tie their shoes we show them step by step how to do it, and then we practice with them.  When we teach them to read we sit and show them step by step how to sound out the letters and we practice with them.  It is no different in this area of chores.  If we want them to learn to clean properly we need to show them how and do it alongside of them until they get it.  

  Just yesterday I was dealing with a child who had a chore and was not being thorough in it.  I found myself calling her back several times over and telling her she missed this or that.  Then I realized it might be really helpful if the next time she does that chore I do it alongside of her.  She needs to be trained on how to do it correctly.  

I have to inspect what I expect:

  Again I have been so horrible at this step.  I have heard this many times through the years, but I have not been good at it.  Perhaps it is because I have often had babies in my arms and been so busy with caring for little people and minor emergencies that I just hoped the children would do a good job on their chores.  Well, this last week I did something that made all the difference in our home routines.  I actually SCHEDULED a time for myself  to go in and do room inspections each morning.  To my surprise this has not been as big of a deal as I always thought it would be.  I just run through the bedrooms, make sure things are up off the floors, beds are made, and dressers and bookcases look decently tidy.  I also run through the bathroom and make sure dirty clothes are off the floor, toothbrushes are in the drawer, laundry has been taken to the laundry room, etc.  When I go through those rooms I encourage the children in what they have done and how nice their rooms look, and I also point out if they missed anything.  One day I might point out that a cup of water was left out that should go to the kitchen, and another day I might point something out like a clothes hanger that needs to go to the laundry room.  It is a way I can keep them accountable and also help them improve their skills by showing them things they are not seeing.  This simple thing has made a HUGE difference in our house this past week.  We have not arrived by any means but progress is encouraging! 

Choose age appropriate responsibilities for each child:

  It is important to get our little people on board the cleaning crew as soon as they are able.  I think that when they are young there is an excitement about helping out that often wanes as they grow older.  This is a prime time to show them that we are made for work and work is a blessing.  It is a joy to be part of the family team and contribute for the good of the whole family.  It makes littles ones feel loved and needed when they feel they are contributing to their family.  This past week my husband decided to bring our five year old son on board in a new way.  He decided he would train our little guy to gather the chicken eggs.  In order for him to gather the eggs my husband had to rig up a new handle system, on the door of the chicken pen, that was low enough for him to reach it.  After adjusting the handle my husband showed our little man how to do the job.  The next step was to let him do the job with an older sibling accompanying him.  This way the older sibling could give him guidance and talk through the task with him.  So far he is doing an amazing job, and the next step is for him to go alone while an older sibling watches from afar.  Pretty soon I believe he will be doing this job on his own, and I believe he will gain confidence and a sense of joy in knowing our family is counting on him to bring in the eggs.  I think so often our society fails to teach little people that they are needed and they can do more than people typically expect of them.  I am excited about my little man doing this job, because I think it is going to grow maturity in him.  This is big and important in his little mind, and I believe we will see good fruit from him rising up to this task.  

  We are far from mastering all of this in our own family, but these are some things I am learning through much trial and error.  These lessons have come from much failure in this area, but I am thankful that the Lord gently leads and guides us and continues to teach us in areas where we feel weak and overwhelmed.  Last week was encouraging to me to see improvements around our home, and even my husband saw the difference.  This encourages me to jump into next week and continue this process of learning the Lord has our family on.  What chores systems are you using?  What has worked for your family?  Do you have any great ways of displaying chores for multiple children?  I would love to hear your ideas!